I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life than to be who you want me to be. But the fact that I will never be that person & you continue to punish me for it is abusing my mind. You cannot continue to follow through this viscous cycle. It stings so much to know the outcome of everything from the very beginning but wanted to be blinded by the warning signs.
That awful reoccurring feeling throughout my whole life just makes my heart hurt the same every single time.
I’m laying in bed at 2 am and the only thing I can hear is loose change in my dryer and I feel idle swathes of air from the small desk fan I’ve propped on my night stand drift onto my back and everything seems so mediocre and I can’t remember how I felt two years ago or who I made believe I had it…
You’re a fuck, you know that?